Jewish American Heritage Month

Posted By richards on September 18, 2014

Bedroom tips from Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, a Lubavitcher Dr. Ruth.

When I recently met Rabbi Shmuley Boteach in Central Park, he was wearing Ray-Bans with tight black biking spandex and smoking a cigar. Theres no pork in my cycling outfit, he said when I asked him about the attire. Theres no hidden crucifix. So I cant imagine that Im doing anything wrong. Plenty of rabbis love cycling.

You could sub in sex for cycling, and youd have Boteachs stance on why theres no conflict about his dual roles as ultra-orthodox rabbi and ultra-orthodox Dr. Ruth. Hes the author of books Kosher Sexand Kosher Adultery. His sex counseling reality show Shalom at Homeon TLC, in which he moves into the homes of troubled couples for a week and coaches them on their relationships, is scheduled to launch in Canada later this month, and last month began airing in Israel. Oprah is a big fan and gave him a talk show on her XM station.

Earlier this year he published his latest book, Kosher Lust,in which he argues that love alone cant keep a marriage together: Great sex , he argues, is the glue that keeps couples strong. Science of Us spoke with him about this philosophy and about how secular couples can apply ultra-orthodox sex tips to their own lives.

Lets talk about sex in the orthodox community, which you say can be hot.I know what people say: You guys are so frigid and inhibited." Its absolutely not true. Among us religious Jews, sex is a big deal. Its a religious obligation. In Jewish law, a man has to make his wife orgasm before he does.

Really? Its in the Talmud.

Do the scriptures weigh in on other specifics, like one position over another? All positions are great. You can do circus acrobatics. But nothing can supplant the intimacy of the missionary position. Jewish law says there has to be full-body contact. Sex is supposed to be "bone of one bone, flesh of one flesh." The Zohar [a kabbalistic text] says youre supposed to kiss, exchange breaths, and look into each others eyes. Religious Jewish couples are supposed to practice eyes-open sex.

Orthodox women dont have a reputation for flaunting their sexiness. The average Western couples are left with only three erogenous zones. On a mans body, it is basically his genitalia, the tush, and on a womans body, you get one more, her breasts. In Orthodox Jewish circles, you have others, like the womans hair [usually covered]. Hair is one of the sexiest things around. My wife has beautiful hair, thank God. She wears a wig, in public. But not around me. Its ours.

You also believe that Orthodox women have something else going for them sexually: unavailability, which apparently drives Orthodox men crazy. In orthodox Jewish marriage, theres a part every single month when sex is forbidden. Youre not even allowed to touch. Its 12 days out of every month: five days of menstruation, and seven days after.

You believe unavailability is good for every couple?Its not easy to keep, but it leads to lust.

See the rest here:

Do Ultra-Orthodox Jews Have Better Sex?

Category: Talmud
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