Jewish American Heritage Month

Posted By admin on November 30, 2021

An urgent call to end forced marriage -- across and within borders

I recently published a book calledThe Shaytan Bride: A Bangladeshi Canadian Memoir of Desire and Faith, now available worldwide. In it, I share my experience emigrating to Canada from Dhaka, Bangladesh, and then later visiting my birthplace, only to have to escape a forced marriage attempt.

Bangladesh struggles with cases of early, child, and forced marriage at disproportionate rates. As a woman of Bangladeshi and South Asian diaspora, I faced similar pressures of forced marriage as those in Bangladesh, despite living abroad in a country with different demographics, history, and legislation. My case is similar to other cases, where members of the diaspora are coerced into marriage for reasons such as protecting some form of culturalorreligious identity, or honour.

Societies and cultures change throughout time-- what we remember as ourorigincountry may no longer be true or apply, yet these memories are often put on an altar, and they dictate expectations. The trajectories of many lives are often determined by ideas of what people miles away would say or think, and specific moral codes -- some of which, when broken, have graver consequences for women.

Those of the diaspora are trying to establish themselves and feel at home in countries that have varying degrees of racism, Islamophobia, xenophobia, and other systemic barriers, all while living the cultures and faiths they are a part of. Everyones experience will vary in terms of how they decide to/are positioned to exist within the country that they live in, and what aspects of themselves will be most important to them.

Heres something else about the diaspora experience, specifically the Muslim diaspora:Since 9/11, Muslims have been under constant surveillance. It is not easy to talk about the complex and often hidden topic of forced marriage in our communities (and it exists in other religious and cultural communities as well) when there are people out there looking to justify their irrational fears about Islam--even when Islam does not allow forced marriages.

Given that the oppression of women has been associated with Islam by popular media, Muslim women may feel a deep sense of responsibility to protect themselvesandthe communities they are a part of, including their men who are profiled as terrorists. This added complexity may feel burdensome and prevent women from seeking help.

Through mymemoir, I am asking readers to think critically about the added pressures the diaspora faces, the climate of Islamophobia, xenophobia, and racism that make it challenging to have broader public discourse about these issues, as well as the repercussions women across the globe from all backgrounds face if they break certain moral codes.

These codes, when broken, punish women more severely, because women are often socialized to think of everyone else before themselves.

I am also asking readers to examine and separate how religious guidance differs from cultural practices that are deeply entwined with systems of control and power--for example, womens sexuality being seen more negatively than mens, or the abuse of women being more normalized.

I am also asking readers to think about how fears of the unknown can activate darker aspects of our psychology, leading us to act in ways that hurt others-- without empathy, or understanding the damage one could cause to our society.

When I was trapped under house arrest in Bangladesh for five months, I hardly had access to outside communication or reminders of who I was previously. I was able to find a way out, but there are many women in Bangladesh who find it impossible to leave their situations; they may be in grave physical danger, or face socioeconomic or health conditions that put them at greater risk.

It doesnt matter that I am across oceans--I can relate to the harrowing experience of being forced against ones will, even when religion does not permit it. It is horrifying.

Its time to work together and more constructively on global policies and programs, legislation, and also community-specific interventions that raise awareness of the complex, nuanced topic of forced marriage and itsintersections with human trafficking, domestic violence, immigration policies, and social determinants of health. I call for more grassroots work with families, equipping them with resources, and conversations about what we can do when we witness attempted forced marriage.

The impacts of forced marriage are many--not just for those who experience it, but societyasa whole.If we dontaddress it, I believe that beyond the women suffering, collectively, well continue to suffer spiritually; there will be darkness.

Sumaiya Matinis aSocial Worker/Psychotherapist, Writer, and Consultant for the Ontario (Canada) government.| Instagram: @sumaiya.matin | Twitter: @sumaiya_matin |[emailprotected]. http://www.sumaiyamatin.com.

Read the original here:

I escaped forced marriage at 19. What about the women who have no one to call? - Dhaka Tribune

Category: Diaspora
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