Jewish American Heritage Month

Posted By richards on December 20, 2014

Lily Padula

Published December 20, 2014.

The Seesaw is a new kind of advice column in which a broad range of columnists will address the real life issues faced by interfaith couples and families. Read the discussion and vote below for what you think is the best response to this particular quandary. You can email your own questions, which will remain anonymous, to: seesaw@forward.com

This year will be the first official Chrismukkah at my house. Until last year, we always celebrated Christmas at my husbands parents house, but then my mother-in-law sadly passed away this spring and the family decided it will be too much for my father-in-law to do on his own. (For the record, he is Jewish and my mother-in-law was not.) Because we are the most centrally located and organized household in the family, everyone agreed, including me, that our place made the most sense. Seesaw, I feel a guilty about bringing Christmas into our Jewish home, and yet I know it is the right thing for to do for our family all things considered. The question I have is, how bad or confusing is this for my kids? Conflicted in Cleveland

SCOTT PERLO: When I was a teenager, I was a voracious reader. I consumed everything: Faulkner and OConner and novels of the South, primly English Austen and Eliot, the broody Russians too. My parents, in their wisdom, let my mind wander as freely as it chose. To this day, my heart lives in many cultures that are not my own.

But my family life was Jewish on that they insisted. I grew up knowing, very firmly, who I was. And though a trip to see Christmas lights wasnt out of the question, nor was my mothers appreciation for carols, they helped me develop a sense of what was ours and what was theirs.

That distinction has helped me enormously in my life. The world, to me, is not soup, all blended together; rather, its a tapestry each thread is beautiful because it is just different enough from its neighbor. Vive la diffrence. Truly.

I cant get behind Chrismukkah. I understand that many people celebrate a deracinated version of both holidays, but it feels to me like a smooshing of two unlike things together. What emerges is the Winter Festival of American Liberalism. I love the Liberal tradition, and America, and Christians, but Hannukah exists largely because a group of people fought so that they could be free of the influence of a more dominant religion and culture.

Youre in a tough spot. My guess is that Christmas is important to your Jewish father-in-law because of his love for his wife. To insist at this point would be an insult to his grief as much as a statement of identity. But I wouldnt advise Chrismukkah going forward, and I would help your kids distinguish, as best as you can, between ours and theirs.

Rabbi Scott Perlo is a rabbi at Sixth & I Historic Synagogue in Washington D.C, a unique institution that reaches out to Jewish and Jewish adjacent young professionals of all denominations and backgrounds.

Go here to read the rest:
Will Chrismukkah Ruin My Nice Jewish Kids?

Category: Jewish American Heritage Month
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