Jewish American Heritage Month

Posted By admin on July 7, 2017

Some Jews like to whine and others like to wine, that is, to

responsibly consume appropriate amounts of alcohol in the form of grape-derived goodness. On Shabbat, Jews drink wine to make kiddush and Havdalah.

On Passover, Jews drink at least four cups of wine and even dip their fingers in one of them. At weddings, Jews drink wine under the chuppah for ritualistic reasons (and perhaps if someone is getting cold feet).

So, we know that drinking wine is a part of certain Jewish rituals and customs, but the question is: what are the factors that should be considered to help Jews appropriately and responsibly consume wine?

Wine drinking is particularly prevalent on Purim, a holiday on which Jews actually are supposed to drink until they can no longer tell the difference between the hero and the villain. See, Talmud, Megillah (7b) (A person is obligated to drink on Purim until he does not know the difference between cursed be Hamanand blessed be Mordechai.)

Of course, this is not the only litmus test for sobriety versus inebriation. For the record, you have overloaded on libations if you can no longer tell the difference between: a matzah ball and a soccer ball, a hotdog and a hot dog, Levis Jeans and a Levis genes or Colombia the country, Columbia the university and Columbia the outdoor apparel company. In other words, you are overly tipsy if you think Kathmandu is a place where adult males dress and act like felines or if you think that Bangkok is a place where drummers play percussion using fowl.

It is important to recognize that Judaism and alcohol consumption are not synonymous, and one certainly does not automatically lead to the other. This also is true of other aspects of Jewish life. For instance, if you swing a live chicken over your head before Yom Kippur (as some Jews do), it does not automatically mean that you dislike animals. It does mean, however, that the dizzy chicken will not be terribly fond of you. If you sleep in your sukkah on Sukkot even when directly in the path of a Category 5 hurricane, it does not automatically mean that you are crazy. Then again, such behavior could be used as exhibit A if you ever need to plead the insanity defense.

Lets make another thing perfectly clear:in Judaism, as in secular life, drinking and driving do not mix. Drinking also does not mix well with all sorts of other activities, like drinking and hair cutting, drinking and tightrope walking or drinking and open heart surgery. Of course, there are many other things in life that should not be mixed. You should not mix wiretapping and tap dancing because those you are spying on will hear you coming from a mile away. You should not mix firecrackers with animal crackers, not even if your child is born on the Fourth of July. You should not mix cookies stored on computers with cookies stored in your pantry (and you absolutely should not puree your iPhone or iPad in an attempt to make Apple sauce).

The Talmud, in Pesachim 109a, states that wine should be consumed (responsibly) to help increase holiday happiness: With whatshouldone make them rejoice? With wine.While wine may help some people rejoice, there are other things that do not put people in the mood to rejoice, including colicky infants, visiting day traffic, anti-climactic stories with no real payoff, unflattering parent-teacher conferences,cholent shortages, higher taxes, lice and The Godfather Part III.

Bottom line: LChaim!

Jon Kranz is an attorney living in Englewood, N.J., and a weekly humor columnist for the Jewish Link of New Jersey. Send your comments, questions or insults to jkranz285@gmail.com.

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Fine wine - Cleveland Jewish News

Category: Talmud
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